


Tastes like Honey

by discodream



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: (but not for long), Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, F/M, Heavy Angst, Love Triangle, M/M, Miscommunication, Multi, One-Sided Attraction, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Riku That Isnt Cool What You're Doing We See You, Roxas Going Thru Shit As Usual, a lot of side pairings - Freeform, confused roxas is confused, cross-dressing sora (sometimes), doc martens in my fic let’s be in 2007 again yall, he loves sora a lot tho, slow burn kinda, sora going through his feelings, soriku at first but then soroku all the way babey, when will he admit it tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:42:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21946045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discodream/pseuds/discodream
Summary: Roxas meets her...no, him, and you can safely say his world flips upside down. [Title taken from a song by Swallow, also please read tags.]
Relationships: Axel/Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Roxas/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27





	1. meeting you

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys so i wrote this quite a long time ago along with several chapters and never got to finishing it. my writing might be a bit bad, and i'm afraid it still isn't better but! im interested enough to pick up this thing again and finish it, so there's that.
> 
> this fic is sora/roxas, or soroku. it has soriku in it because of how sora's feelings go at first. hopefully you'll be patient when he finally realizes who he really likes hehe. enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 1/3/2020: changed it from new york city to twilight city. idk, felt too jarring to have the setting there so I changed it.

Twilight City was a rhythmic beat, whispers of smoke from sewers and orange cones, skyscrapers tall like swaying giants, and gritty train carts with washed out graffiti and perfumed homeless stink. To say he was getting used to it pretty fast was an understatement. Sora titled his head, squinting at his reflection and asked himself: Was the lip gloss too much?

He automatically reached out for the toilet paper but Kairi was already behind him, sweet-eyed and vanilla perfume.

“First off, you know that’s a bad idea. Just leave it on, it’s fine.”

“You don’t think it’s like, extra?”

“Extra to just get some supplies? Sure. But this is normal for you.”

Sora raised a brow at himself. “Eh.” The light blush complimented his tanned skin, and you know what? Sora thinned his glossy lips, squinting further. No eyeliner today. Just mascara, blush and the gloss. Less extra-ness, the better.

“Besides,” Kairi leaned by his shoulder and smiled at his reflection, “It’s Twilight City, dummy. Who cares if you want to go out in drag?”

Sora rolled his eyes, absently reaching for the _Roller Lash_ at the sink. “Kairi, for the last time, this isn’t drag, and this is—”

 _ **“--just me having fun,”** _They both said at the same time. Sora paused at Kairi’s giggle before she spun at her heel, giving Sora a pat. “I know, Sora. Kidding.”

“And I just, I mean...I don’t want to attract that kind of attention.”

Kairi just stared at him warmly and Sora, after a moment, grinned. “Should I go for a wig or keep it all naturale?”

“Well, there goes not attracting attention, huh.”

Sora shrugged, “I don’t make sense sometimes, but that's okay.”

“I have known you all my life,” Kairi began, “but that what you just said really, _really_ sums you up.” She gave him a once-over as Sora laughed and took in his shorts and black stockings, Doc Martens to boot. “What’re you wearing for a shirt?”

“What I’m already wearing. Nice, right?”

“All because a certain celebrity made it trendy to have holes in clothing doesn’t mean it fits you, Sora.”

“He’s a God, Kairi!”

“You know what? You’re going to fit in just fine with the Twilight City scenery. I’ll just get you a paper cup with loose change.”

“Get two.” Sora laughed, mascara streaking slightly as his eyes crinkled. “Cause you’re definitely coming with. Y’know, two for two, like always?”

“Sounds like a plan, ‘cept I’m in lots of pain and the gelato in the fridge is currently my best friend right now.” Sora pouted at that and she rolled her eyes, because getting jealous over ice cream, seriously? She ruffled his hair. “No wig. This is just fine.”

Sora furthered his pout, eyes on her pink nails through his brown spikes. “Okay...”

//

“Idiot, your metrocard needs a refill.”

Axel paused, looking at Roxas on the other side of the turnstile. The blond stared back at him like he was the biggest idiot he’d ever seen and Axel will admit—he hated how used to it he’s become. Overhead, the robotized voice of a train announcer stated the train would arrive in less than a minute, and at this Roxas sighed before walking off.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Axel muttered under his breath, hopping over the turnstile. No cops in sight. “You know I just prefer doing this so much better.”

Roxas was already half jogging down the stairs and Axel felt this hair dance a bit, a gust of wind suddenly hitting the station.

“Hurry, it’s already coming.” He heard Roxas’ annoyance his voice.

By the time Axel slid down by the railing, which technically was less than three seconds, Roxas stood in front the train doors, waiting for them to open.

“Chinatown Blick?” Axel asked.

“Chinatown Blick.” Roxas repeated as the doors slid open. “They’re having a store-specific sale on brushes and Holbein—”

“And you don't already have enough of those?”

As they sat down, Roxas trailed his eyes at him. “You do realize I didn’t invite you.”

Axel stared at him evenly. “Out loud.”

“Idiot.”

“Yeah, yeah. You love me.”

The train kicked back in motion, a rumble of gears and light flickers. Roxas sighed, noting pleasantly the lack of straphangers in their cart before looking down at himself. Black graphic tee and brown cargos fitting him comfortably.

“I almost thought you weren’t wearing your wristband.” He heard Axel muse. Roxas lifted his wrist, checkerboard wristband in sight.

“Do I look like I ever take it off?”

“At least tell me you do when you shower.”

Roxas huffed and looked almost sadistic. “Nope.”

“Ya nasty.”

“So was your mom when she came over last night.”

Axel blinked before Roxas went full on snickering. This was another thing, yet he could never get used to it. Roxas was an enigma, a true wildcard—he’d do weird shit one second but then he’d be serious the next. “You and these your momma jokes, dude. They never get old to you?”

“They’re quality.”

“Absolute quality _trash_ , my friend.”

“Shut up.” Roxas play shoved him. Then, he couldn’t resist. “…You’re just mad your mom came over last night.”

_“Roxas.”_

Roxas kept snickering as Axel tried to hold in a laugh.

//

The Blick art supply store was busy not just for the sale, but it was two weeks before the start of Fall semesters. University students from all over Twilight City crammed in, and it was melding hotpot of students just taking art classes for their Liberal Arts major, or actual students from artsy-fartsy universities, emphasis on the artsy. Roxas and Axel were of the latter and unlike Axel, he couldn’t hide his major distaste seeing it so packed.

“I mean, you said there was a sale going on. What you mad about?” Axel was already heading to the ink aisle. He did cartooning. 

“Yeah, but I didn’t imagine it to be this packed. All the good shits’ probably already gone.”

“You’re loaded, Roxas. You could just buy the good shit online.”

Roxas gave a him a thin look, like: _what would be the point of that_ , before jerking his head towards the end of the aisle. “I’m heading upstairs.”

Axel waved him off, not even hiding his excitement that no one cared enough about ink to fester in the aisle.

//

It was annoying to continuously have to move to the side anytime anyone came down the stairs but by the eighth person, Roxas had finally reached home, giving in and letting out a frustrated sigh. He couldn’t really let anyone but himself be blamed for how annoyed he was, so he tucked his pique back before settling a look around.

It was surprisingly…quiet.

Not empty, but not a lot of people. It actually looked like how it looked on a regular day here. The smell of dried paint and freshly made paper was more intense (considering the lack of traffic and body odor), and Roxas took a moment to inhale, slight smile itching to show itself.

Holbein oil paints, here he come. Cadmium yellow and Chinese vermilion.

Roxas easily crossed the aisles, knowing exactly where to go. He realized annoyingly he hadn’t bothered with picking up a shopping basket, but whatever. He’d hog one from somewhere around here. Passing the acrylic aisles, Roxas stepped into what he called his personal heaven. And it looked relatively unscathed.

Except a person was there, standing idly and staring right up at the display of the Holbein oil paints. Roxas almost stuttered in taking a step forward. A chick was interested in oil painting? Not unheard of at all, but he found himself getting surprised regardless. Because there was something different about this though, and he couldn’t put his finger on it.

Roxas narrowed his eyes a bit, giving her a slow once over. Stockings and jean shorts. Oversized black holed up shirt, decorated in paint smears (so, a smock?). Roxas could tell the colors immediately and knew also they were from Holbein paints.

_Cadmium yellow and Chinese vermilion…_

“Transparent Brown?” Sora muttered. He reached nimbly for the large tube and though he could reach it just fine, Roxas had to be sure and be a gentleman sometimes, huh? He walked over quick enough and plucked it right under Sora’s fingers.

“That’s Terra Rosa you’re reaching for.” Roxas muttered back to her. “Can’t tell?”

Sora turned his head at him, raising a brow. Roxas was looking straight down at the tube of paint somewhat reeling and wondering when the hell did his legs move.

“You’re right, it is. How’d I get that mixed up?” Sora looked down at it with him. He’d made sure to sweeten his voice just a tad. “Though I guess I never really used the color…trying new things at a new place…” Roxas smelled vanilla cream and wrinkled his nose a bit, chancing a sideward glance. _New place?_

The girl was looking at him with a small smile, long hair framing a bit of dimple.

She was... _wow_. And when they met eyes, she grinned wholly, revealing a bit of a fang. Roxas couldn’t tell if this chick was straight up adorable or hot, or if he was honestly alright because when did he randomly crush on girls at Blick or anywhere? I mean, teen years excluded, right?

“New place?” was all he could finally say.

The girl nodded, reaching for the paint. Roxas gave it to her as she turned to lower it in her basket. Strong legs.

Roxas quickly raised his eyes up at the fluorescent lighting.

“I just moved here. For university.” Sora made clear. “I was told to try new colors after they reviewed my portfolio, since it seems I got a pattern of ‘comfortable favorites’.”

Roxas was still looking up but at this, raised a brow. “They can’t tell you to do that...and you’re still going to that Uni?”

“Yup.” Sora popped the ‘p’ and then after a moment, “So…what’s so interesting about the lighting in this place?”

 _Crap._ Roxas shot his eyes down, meeting her questioning ones. He shrugged, quickly shoving his hands into his pockets. “Sometimes they fall on you. The light fixtures. Just making sure they’re all, uh, secure…n’ stuff.”

Sora made quizzical eyes at him and Roxas continued to stammer. “To make sure they don’t fall on _you_.” He redundantly clarified.

_What the fuck was going on?_

“Jeez.” Sora grinned wider now, and curled his fist, lightly punching Roxas’ arm. “I can protect myself if they do, but thank you.”

Roxas looked to the side, eager to look to Holbein display and grab his shit and run. Girls. They shake up your whole vibe and mojo, don’t they?

Sora took a step closer and Roxas felt his cheeks instantly grow warm. _Maybe in a good way, though._

“Hey, look.”

Roxas trailed his eyes to her, seeing she was inches away but was looking down at their feet. He could smell the vanilla stronger now, with how close they were and could see the mascara on her lashes.

“What?”

She had pretty lips. Nice lip gloss.

“Look.”

_I am looking._

Long lashes, tan smooth skin that stretched for a pleased smile. Roxas mentally slapped himself before doing as he was told. It took him a second to realize she was looking down at their shoes.

“Doc Martens. We match.”

Roxas blinked. “We match with everyone. Haven’t you seen everyone else in this place?”

“Really?” Sora looked disbelieving and Roxas mirrored the expression. He refused to believe she didn’t notice. It was an art supply store in Twilight City for crying out loud; Doc Martens and canvas bags overkill. The only thing they were both missing were the Swell bottles.

“Really.” Roxas deadpanned. “Everyone—“

“Well, I only noticed you.” Sora said simply.

Roxas’ mouth hung open. Mortal Kombat’s _Finish Him_ on loop because he was really finished. What girl, seemingly exact his type (he didn’t even know he had one) goes right up to him and says this? He wasn’t even surprised when the girl bent slightly forward, pressing his chin up with her finger and effectively shutting his mouth.

Oh, the finishing move was _brutal._

“Fly’s gonna get in. You’re kinda weird, but anyone who likes Holbein’s is perfect in my book!” She dropped her hand to outstretch it. “Friends?”

“I—” Roxas met her hand. He almost jumped when she squeezed. It was really firm. “Roxas.”

“Reina.” Sora beamed, inwardly surprised with coming up with a name on the spot. “Nice to meet you, Roxas. I take back the weird. You seem cool.”

They were still holding hands and Roxas felt something weird strike him. He went with it. Squeezing her hand, he pulled at her slightly, making her almost trip on her toes with a yelp. Sora was leaning on Roxas’ chest in a second, and almost immediately the blond’s unoccupied hand held her by her shoulder.

“Change your mind about me that quick?” Roxas teased.

Sora blinked, a scent of sage hitting him. Roxas’ face wasn’t far from his, but unlike earlier, he was much more closer. Sora flushed, realizing they were still holding hands.

“Aaand I take it back.” He looked up at Roxas with almost a pout. “What was that for?”

“Checking your reflexes.” Roxas realized what that something was. That weird feeling that nibbled at him a few seconds ago.

“For what?” Sora continued to pout. Roxas liked to see it.

“The lighting fixtures.”

Sora blinked slowly before almost jumping at him.

“Oh, I know you’re lying about that but for possibly what, no clue! Do you actually want them to fall on me? I so thought we were cool, Holbein buddies, y’know? Was it the Terra Rose thing that threw us off? We can start over—”

She was still close to him, bright azure eyes, glossy lips and flushed cheeks as she frantically gestured at every word—and Roxas was almost laughing. Fuck it. He laughed brightly, shaking his head.

She was fun to _tease._ That's what it was.

“Oh, I’m funny, huh?” Sora squinted playfully at him.

“Take it as a compliment.”

“Maybe if I wasn’t the joke.” Sora crossed his arms, giving a hmph. Roxas was still laughing a bit, almost breathless, and Sora whined. “Stop laughing.” 

“Sorry.” Roxas cleared his throat after a moment but a wide smile was still on his face somehow. He felt high and he was sure he looked it. “How ‘bout I help with your shopping? I’ll make it up to you.”

Sora bit his lip, crossed arms slackening. Roxas, meanwhile, was trying desperately hard not to notice how hot that was.

“Fine. I’d be happy if you helped. Friends do that, don’t they?” Sora raised his brows, having emphasized the word friends. Roxas snickered.

“No more teasing, seriously.”

“It’s a promise?”

“You got it.”

Sora dropped his arms before tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. “Cool.”

 _Cute._ Roxas noticed she had an industrial piercing, loving every bit of it, but then he’d realized he was blatantly checking her out at this point. He shook his head, clearing his throat. “So, uh. Let’s start with Transparent Brown?” He asked, plucking the tube from the display.

“But that’s Terra Rose.” Sora pointed.

And it indeed was.

Roxas never more prayed for those florescent lights to strike him now.

//

Axel was short on five bucks, but thanks to rich boy Roxas and them being best friends, he was given a credit card. Platinum Visa. The cashier tried not look suspicious and Axel tried not to look like he wasn’t about to curse him out, but that failed, so the employee swiped no problem.

Almost dragging himself upstairs and mentally sending a middle finger that cashier’s way, Axel scratched at his ear in thought.

“Where is this guy…and where are oil paints at again? Should’ve asked that prick.” He crossed aisle to aisle, growing more annoyed to be met with no Roxas in sight. What was the name of his favorite paint again? He'd totally forgot. Axel paused, looking up the aisle label. Winston—nope, that was acrylic. Had to be oil. And he was pretty sure it started with a H…for Holy Water? Hoobastank?

Axel crossed into another aisle and walked through, humming Madonna’s _Holiday_ with a head bop, and then, right there, the display of Holbein oil paints greeted him. There it was.

But no Roxas in sight.

Axel sucked his teeth, beginning to walk off _. Must be already downstairs._

A laugh.

Axel stilled. He was pretty sure it was Roxas’ laugh, and in the next aisle too. Axel stopped for a moment, straining his ears.

Why was he laughing? Was he talking to someone?

“Well, I think you’re fine. You shouldn’t worry about dumb stuff like that, Reina.” Roxas was saying.

A girl?

“Are you teasing me again?”

“No, I’m not.” Roxas chuckled at this before playfully muttering to himself, still within for Axel to hear. “Maybe.”

“Dude, I swear—”

“Kidding, kidding. So you got into oil painting because of Bob Ross, who cares? Screw what people think.”

Axel took this moment to slightly walk over and peek into the aisle. Their backs were facing him and to say how stunned he was to see right then and there, Roxas lightly flicking the girl’s nose—the proximity, physical contact—

“Hey!” She laughed, bumping Roxas’ shoulder.

“ _Now_ I’m teasing you.”

“You were doing it the whole time, I know it.”

“Maybe.” Roxas threw again, cheese in his voice as he bumped her shoulder back.

 _Well, I’d be damned._ Axel blinked repeatedly before realizing his mouth was open. Roxas was _flirting_.

“Shit, wait. What time is it?” Roxas said.

And at that, Axel threw a frenzied look around before bolting out of the second floor, half jogging back to the ink aisle.

 _That_ was interesting.

//

Roxas met Axel outside by the time he said his goodbye to Reina. It was embarrassing to say how much he didn’t want to leave, and how quickly he got attached. Axel’s own voice flitted in his head then (“ _It be like that sometimes_ ”), just as Roxas came up to him, giving him a _sorry_ quietly.

“So.” Axel quickly quipped, looking at him. “Where’s your stuff?”

Roxas realized two things at that moment. One, he didn’t get Reina’s number. And two, Reina didn’t ask for his. He didn’t know what was more crushing, but that quickly was overridden when he threw a look back at the store, tempted in going back.

“You said I had enough, right?” He said.

“I did.” Axel said slowly. “But I distinctly remember you saying something like there was a sale that you wanted to take advantage of? Or whatever your excuse was to not act like you’re rich—”

“Sale was over.” Roxas looked away from the store. “Ready to go?”

Axel squinted. O—kay, that was a flat out lie but Roxas did that. _A lot_. “I am, don’t know about you though.”

Roxas narrowed his eyes at him, “What’s that supposed to mean? I said I don’t want anything.”

Axel shrugged at his testiness, “Alright, alright, jeez.”

“And refill your metro this time. I don’t want to pay your fine again.”

“Rich people really hate wealth redistribution. It isn’t just a myth—“

They walked back to the train with Axel going into a speech and Roxas feeling pin-prickles hitting at him, telling him to go back. Or maybe it was the patter of rain that began to fall and spark the back of his neck. Whatever it truly was, it felt annoying and almost weird— indecision wasn’t him, at all.

So ultimately, he ignored it.

Maybe he wanted to be hopeful that they’d see each other again. Or maybe, really…he didn’t want to go through _that_ again. Another relationship was...

So lost in his thoughts, he barely registered Axel jumping over the turnstile in front of him.

//

Sora entered Kairi’s apartment almost floating.

He didn’t even blink when Kairi waved a hand at him, wondering if he was okay. He just answered dazedly that he was, and he limply held up his bags of paint along with a soggy umbrella.

“Supplies.” He said dreamily. “And there’s a thunderstorm outside...”

Kairi stared at him, took them from his hands, and watched him float away into the bathroom where she knew he’d wipe away his makeup and put away his wig. Speaking of which…

“So, you decided to put it on anyway, huh?” She yelled over.

Sora didn’t answer and Kairi rolled her eyes at this, endeared. Obviously something great had happened...or rather someone? Deets be spilled.

She walked over to the bathroom and saw right at the moment Sora’s wig was off, a horrified expression landed on his face and met him back at the mirror. Her eyes widened and she quickly crossed over, stunned. “What—Sora--?”

“I didn’t get his number.” Sora spun, eyes wide. “All of that and I didn’t even get his number! What the hell was I on, what the hell was I thinking to not get his—”

“Whose?”

She was ignored. “His number! Jeez, I can be so lame.”

“So I was right.” Kairi almost smirked, satisfied. “Some guy hit on you. Bet he was your type since you were practically in the clouds when you came in.”

Sora gave pause, the horrified expression deepening. “Kai, what—no.”

“Not your type? Life can be full of surprises, it’s okay, Sora.”

“No, no.” Sora’s hair fluffed as he shook his head. “I made a new friend! He’s the first one I made here since I arrived!”

Kairi stared at him. And stared. Sora blinked at her, confused for a moment before he sighed.

“Okay, yeah, he _was_ cute—”

“I KNEW IT!”

“But he’s a friend, Kai!”

“Sure, Jan.” Kairi giggled as he sighed, looking back at the mirror with disappointment.


	2. vanilla crema

The breeze of a summer-fall morning did nothing to abate Sora’s nerves. His fluffy spikes danced and framed his face as he quickly jogged up the dorm building, eager to get inside and just hide under his comforter. Transfer student orientation was so unnecessarily awkward, especially with the whole name introducing and Sora-shaking-hands-with-someone- who-turned-out-to-be-a-creep thing. They rubbed circles inside his palm and licked their lips at him to boot, and Sora wanted to gag, but being the goody person he was, he told himself that was wrong and just proceeded to ignore the whole thing.

Thankfully the dude got the memo and didn’t pursue further interest. For now, Sora guessed.

Almost slamming the door behind him as he came in, Sora realized how quiet the halls had been. Most returning students have already moved back in two days ago and were still knocked out. Recovery from late summer nights, he could only assume. He glanced at his wristwatch and noted quickly that it was about to turn ten.

“Hey.”

Sora almost jumped out of his skin, a squeak slipping out of his lips. He totally forgot his roommate was there.

“Hey yourself.” He said in a whisper in the dimly lit room. “Sorry, did I wake you?”

Silver hair poked through a large mass of comforters. “Maybe.” Came a muffle. “It’s whatever. I needed to get up anyway.”

“Sorry again.”

“’s cool.”

Sora walked over to his bed, plopping down and immediately toed off his shoes. He threw one more glance at his roommate’s bed from across him and saw his roommate already staring back at him, looking in thought.

“Transfer student orientation, right?” His deep voice rumbled and green eyes rolled. “It’s unnecessary. You should’ve skipped.”

Sora shook his head, hitching his legs up, crossing them. “No way. It was mandatory, the paper said. I wish I could’ve stayed in bed like you, trust me. It’s kinda chilly today too.”

His roommate hummed before settling deeper in the comforter, face hidden once more. Sora couldn’t help but smile at that before absently letting eyes trail around their wide room. Posters of his roommate’s fraternity littered his side of the wall, along with a calendar of bikini models. You’d think his roommate was a jock until you looked at the foot of his bed. A whole slew of video cameras, equipment and fixtures all propped and placed at a corner. His roommate was a Film major, but looking at his desk and seeing stacks of thick pages stapled together told Sora something different. Screenwriting seemed to be easier for him, or maybe it was a hobby? Sora didn’t know. They weren’t that close yet as they met only just two days ago.

Sora slid his azure eyes to his own wall behind him, still bare save for dimly lit string lights. By the foot of his bed was his share of stuff, tubs of paints and oils, and canvases and one easel decorated in an accidental slew of colors streaked overtime. His share of palettes was under his bed along by his shoes and so were his paintbrushes, in small shoe bins.

“Sora, right?”

He might’ve squeaked the second time. “Yeah?” He fixed his eyes to his roommate, only this time they were up and out of bed.

Riku stared down at him, tall as can be. “It's been buzzing for the past minute or so, think you dropped it back there. ” And there was his cellphone in Riku’s hands, still buzzing with a call.

Sora quickly took it, “Oh crap, thanks.” Who was calling him so early?

_Mom calling…_

Sora stared it before holding in a sigh. _Of course it was her._ Without hesitating, he turned his phone off. Riku’s face shown mild surprise but he quickly masked it. “I’m gonna shower. Need to go before I do?”

“Nope.” Sora popped the ‘p’, a habit of his. He threw his phone to side, tossing Riku a grin. “I’m gonna take a nice long nap!” And with that, he let himself fall backwards, narrowly missing the wall by an inch and his shirt hitching up to reveal his navel. “Have a nice shower!”

Riku mumbled ‘yeah’ before heading out, and Sora closed his eyes, blinking out of the stressful world for a few hours.

//

When Sora woke up later, Riku was gone. He didn’t expect for his roommate to lounge in their room all day, so he wasn’t surprised at all. He wiped the dried drool, turned his phone on, seeing texts from Kairi and Hayner. Hayner was coming to meet them in Twilight City for a couple of weeks before he had to go back to Japan for a gallery show. It kinda stunned Sora sometimes--how awesome it was to have Hayner for a friend. He’d be his level one day.

He’d checked and answered his friends’ texts, agreeing to meet Kairi for drinks at some bar. Midday drinks, very responsible, but Sora gave himself a look on the mirror, before peeling off his hoodie. Tanned skin, peach nipples and a necklace with a crown—he was all bare save for his sweats.

Maybe if he went out like this, he’d get laid. A half-naked student walking around campus, hoping for a hook-up and hoping to not get a stupid crush in the process.

Oh yeah, very, _very_ responsible.

Sora giggled before silently admonishing himself. Like he wasn’t a awkward virgin.

Kairi was rubbing off on him way too much.

//

It had been a total blur.

Sora had gotten drunk and of course, being the sleepy dazed drunk that he was, as soon as he opened the door to his dorm room, he fell face first on the bed, trying to will everything to stop spinning around. He barely registered Riku at his desk, pausing whatever he was doing on his laptop to stare at him.

“Are you drunk?” He sounded disappointed.

Sora twitched his leg in response.

“…Do you need some help?”

Sora shook his leg from side to side.

It was a quiet for another moment until there was a sound of someone getting up from a rolling chair.

“It’s just…I’m going to need my bed back soon.”

Sora’s eyes shot open.

He inhaled the comforter (missing Riku’s weirded out look) and sure enough, no vanilla perfumey smell Kairi washed her laundry in. It was all Tide laundry soap with a hint of Irish Spring. This…was definitely not Sora’s bed.

He instantly scrambled up, careful to let his shoes touch the bed, even drunk. His almost crimson face made even Riku look at him in pity (was that what it was?).

“I'm so, so sorry.” His eyes squeezed shut, tucking his hands between his legs. “My head hurts, I just didn’t—I wasn’t looking—”

“It’s fine.” Riku shrugged. “I just figured you wouldn’t do that sober, so.”

“Yeah.”

Awkward silence, save for the ear scratch music coming from Riku’s headphones at his desk.

“Um…do you have painkillers?” Sora’s eyes fluttered open. “I forgot where I put mine—”

Riku’s hand was in his face, two Advils put neatly.

“Oh.”

//

When Sora woke up the next morning, he realized Riku was incredibly kind. Because for one, he didn’t even remember when he got to his own bed, tucked himself in, and put more pills and a bottle of water by his own nightstand. He also didn’t remember setting an alarm for 6:30.

When he rolled out of bed, Riku wasn’t around. Today was the first day of classes, so he figured Riku left first, bright and early. Sora’s first class was at eight, so he once again felt immensely thankful for Riku setting the alarm. The guy probably read his schedule that he put on his wall before he left to Kairi yesterday. I have such a great roommate, Sora thought, smiling sleepily. He had to think of how to thank him somehow.

“Okay, that’s later!" Sora gave a quick stretch before instantly pulling off his clothes, “Today is a new day, new start, new everything. I have to get ready—”

Riku stepped inside the door room, sighing. “Hey, the dorm head told me to tell you—”

Sora stopped, slowly turning. Riku stared.

(So Sora had this horrible habit of pulling his pants down along with everything else. Kairi told him to stop because it was annoying to separate his boxers and pants for laundry, and Sora foggily remembered agreeing.)

Riku was staring right at his bare ass, and Sora thought, hm, what ever happened to that agreement?

“Uh, Riku. My bad—”

Riku backpeddled instantly, slamming the door shut.

//

Roxas threw himself on Axel’s bed, knowing very well Axel was still asleep in it and knowing very well this would prompt a litany of cursing and promised ass kicking. Well, it was all to be worth it. Axel’s first class was in thirty minutes.

“Look sharp.” Was all the warning he gave just as Axel groggily opened his eyes.

“Huh—”

Roxas’ elbow hit him right in the face, exactly on target.

“Motherfuck— _Roxas!_ ”

“Wake up, shithead.” Roxas laid flat right on him, choosing to completely ignore Axel’s desperate shoving. “Your class is in thirty minutes.”

“Why didn’t you wake me earlier?” Axel spat, now successfully shoving him off. Roxas got on his feet quick, just as Axel swung his long legs over the bed, comforter aside. “Nevermind, don’t even answer.”

Roxas gave him a half-lidded grin. He did tell him a month advance this would be happening.

“What class is it?”

Roxas bent slightly backwards, squinting at Axel’s class schedule littered with ringed coffee marks, right on his desk. “Formula Drawing and Analysis for Cartooning three. It’s a short class.”

“Fuck hell it is, look again.” Axel had peeled off his shirt revealing a nice set of abs and a pierced nipple. Roxas casted another quick glance and yeah, it two hours and a half.

“It’s almost three hours.”

“They increase it at each level.” Axel crossed to Roxas’ side of the room, borrowing his deodorant. “Shit should be a crime to do that for non-basics.”

Roxas snorted, looking down at his new Sherpa fleece trucker. “You pride yourself too much. You’re the world’s slowest—“

“Ah-ah-ah,” Axel was shrugging on a white crewneck, unraveling it downward with a slight smirk. “Stop right there, Mister I-use-my medium-as-a-way-to-get-high.”

“I really fucking wish you could stop saying that; maybe today would be a good start?”

“Eh, I’ll get back to you on that.” Axel ignored Roxas cursing at him through his cobalt eyes. “What about you? Doesn’t your class start soon? And why’re you wearing a jacket, it’s like 90 degrees outside.”

“An hour, and no, that was yesterday. It’s 52 degrees today. Put on a sweater, idiot.”

Axel paused tying his shoes, crooked smile, “Aw, you sound like you care.”

Roxas rolled his eyes, “About global warming? Nah.” He picked up his book bag, slinging it on his shoulder and almost missing Axel’s quick middle finger. “Right back at you, _babe_.” He left with a snort.

//

Going back for another semester of _Portrait Painting from Life_ was possibly the worst thing he heard his advisor say. Aside from maybe picking up his grades or he’d be put on academic probation, which was a close second, Roxas hated nothing more than painting after models in a cramped basement with a teetering easel. Roxas stuffed his hands angrily in his pockets, tempted for a smoke. But that was bad, remember? _We stopped that in high school._

Briskly walking across the campus and ignoring the jab his tight white ring was giving him, he settled for coffee. There was a cafeteria in the building where PPL took place, so maybe that was plus, but whatever. Roxas felt his bookbag, on by one strap, hit against his back lightly as he jogged up the stairs. Entering, the smell of coffee and paint assaulted him and okay, maybe that cheered him up a bit. Cobalt eyes twinkled and lips quirked in a smirk by the time he entered the food area, catching the eye of someone familiar.

“Well, look who it is!” Xion yelled over, already laughing with a steaming open cup of coffee in her hand. “You actually turned up to your first day of classes!”

Roxas grinned, tempted to ruffle her hair. “Watch it,” He pulled out a hand from his pocket, and raised it warningly over her head. “I don’t care if you burn yourself.”

She ducked lightly, all cute teeth and nose wrinkle. “You better not, Roxas. Jeez, there was admiration in my voice, couldn’t you tell?”

“Faintly. Just a tiny bit.” He made a gesture of his index and thumb almost close.

Xion laughed and copied him, “Just a ‘lil? But it was there.”

“Not enough.”

Xion couldn’t stop laughing, and Roxas figured it was because it was Xion, her _free-spirited_ self and whatnot. He also hadn’t seen her all summer vacation, so this was making up.

“Lemme guess,” she paused to take a sip of her coffee, thinking, “PPL?”

Roxas sighed, hanging his head. “Repeat my death sentence just one more time, won’t you?”

“Roxas, just pass the class and stop painting the models wrong on purpose.”

“Nope. _Viva la revolución_.”

Xion rolled her eyes at this, chuckling into another sip. “Was that French or Spanish?”

Roxas shrugged, “There’s more important things. Like giving me your coffee so I won’t have to get on line.”

“Ha-ha, very funny.” Xion said dryly, although playful. “Let’s go richy, get on line like everyone else.”

“C’mon, Xion. I’ll get you free lunch whenever, whatever.”

“Hard pass. Viva la revolución!”

Roxas hated when she mimicked him, and it showed on his face every time. She laughed, waving and began walking to her table. “Catch ya later, lazy!”

And so, as fate would have it, Roxas suppressed his groan when he walked into the serving area, seeing indeed the long line for coffee. You’d think with a bustling university such as this, service would be quicker or at least with more staff. Whatever, Roxas thought, checking the time on his phone. He had forty-five minutes till his class started, thirty-five since he liked being fifteen minutes early. Although, in most situations he wouldn’t have shown up at all. Roxas gave a mental shrug. It be like that sometimes.

Ten minutes later, Roxas walked away with a steaming cup of coffee, no sugar or milk and was already taking sips. He didn’t stop walking as he saw Xion a few tables away, just giving her a middle finger goodbye before he continued his way to class.

Skipping the escalator, Roxas opted for the stairs. They were tucked in the much more back area of the main floor. He used his shoulder to open the door and carefully, he walked down the stairs until he reached the basement. Old paint and moldy water. Yup, the basement still smelled the same. Roxas turned a corner, scrunching his brows, the smell getting worse—

_Vanilla cream._

“Oof!”

Roxas thanked any higher being up there that his coffee didn’t spill because he clearly bumped into someone and hard. That person fell backwards on the floor, right on their ass and their bookbag spilling all it’s contents.

 _Shit._ Roxas immediately bent a knee, putting his coffee down. 

“Sorry, man. I didn’t see you.” He watched the other student check their bum as if it was still there and Roxas raised a brow at that. “You okay?”

The student raised their head, their fluffy spikes bouncing. “Oh, yeah! I’m the one who bumped into you though, sorry.” Concerned azure eyes and a lip bite-- “I thought my class was this way but then, I kinda realized this direction was leading to the stairway…um,” They blinked and then cocked their head. “Are _you_ okay?”

Roxas was shock still. His mouth may’ve been open, I mean, he was pretty sure.

No lip gloss, no long hair or mascara. But he was sure, he was so positive.

It was Reina.

Sora waved a hand in his face, knitting his brows. “You know a fly’s gonna get in if you keep your mouth open.”

Roxas immediately shut his mouth, arms still slack and eyes wide. “You…”

Sora turned around, remembering something all the sudden. “Oh no, my paints, man. I thought I zipped my bag up.” Roxas trailed his eyes to the floor, looking at all the paint tubes littered everywhere.

_Holbein paint._

He would’ve been fucking happy. He would’ve got up, helping Reina up and asking her, hey, don’t you remember me? He would’ve even been brazen enough and mentally give a whole _fuck it,_ and ask her out for coffee right then and there, because you know what, life was short and he should’ve done it then back at Blick.

But…

Sora was picking up his paint with a sad face, seeing one had popped open. He was all profile from Roxas’ point of view. And Roxas stared and stared hard because this student’s ear…had an industrial piercing.

Roxas swallowed. The same way life was short, life was also fucked up.

_Who the hell was this?_

“I’m sorry,” Roxas started to say quietly, “But who are you?”

Sora paused, looking over to him. “I’m Sora.”

“I’ve...never seen you around campus.”

“Oh!” At that Sora laughed, crossing his arms behind his head. “Well, that’s because I’m a transfer student. I just moved here. Twilight City, that is. What’s your name?”

“Uh.” Roxas had to know if it was her, and he was pretty sure it was. But in front of him…it was a total guy. “It’s Roxas.”

“Nice to meet you, Roxas. Sorry that it had to be like this.” Sora scratched his head embarrassingly. “This seems to be a trend for me…messing up things…”

 _First time meeting._ The implied words kicked themselves hard into Roxas’ brain until it geared him to wake up to reality. That, what Sora said, was a total lie because this person, this guy— he was totally _her_. Him. Her. Roxas cringed outwardly at the mental battle as he shook his head at Sora, moving along to help him pick up his stuff.

“Holbein.” Was all he said, picking up a tube. The color was Terra Rose.

Roxas shut his eyes in silent prayer. He had been hitting on a whole dude. Of all the things in his life that had to go completely left, this was just at the top of the list.

He missed the way Sora had stiffened then, his wide azure eyes widening as everything hit him in his own personal realization. But then, just as quick, Sora scrunched his brows. No way it could be that guy from Blick.

“You like Holbein too?” Sora inched close, fang and dimple. “They’re my fave paints.”

Roxas opened his eyes wearily. He looked done. “Name this color.”

“Which?”

“The one in my hand...?”

“Oh.” Sora gave a _hm_ before squinting at him. “Is this a test? Like if I’m really a Holbein fan or something?”

Roxas continue to stare at him tiredly. “Just. Name the color.”

Sora pouted and Roxas wanted to yell, because that was completely _her_ just now—

“Easy,” Sora pointed. “That’s Transparent Brown.”

The whole Kennewick Painting building heard a disbelieving yell that morning.

//

Okay, so Sora would be _damned_ if he ruined another potential friendship all in the same day no less, so no, he didn’t run away and hide when this guy started yelling out of nowhere. Maybe he had his reasons, and maybe they were valid.

Sora’s lips twitched into a dimpled smile once Roxas stopped.

“Coffee does that to me too...?” He said sheepishly.

Roxas stared at him hard before just shaking his head frustratedly.

“Man, I am out of here.” He muttered, shooting up. He stepped over Sora’s paints just as Sora reached out to him.

“Wait, uh, Roxas!”

The guy kept walking, quickly too, like he was pissed. Sora pursed his lips sadly and scrunched his brows.

“Jeez,” he began to say, “All because I got a stupid paint color wrong…you’d think he’d be more mad at the fact I bumped into him…”

Sora lidded his eyes, kinda dejected that it was in fact looking like he ruined two potential friendships in one day and on the first day of classes no less. At least though, with Roxas, it started out bad to begin with…

After a minute or two stuffing his paint and brushes back in his backpack, and maybe a mini funeral for Titanium White, Sora threw his bookbag on, straightening out his clothes. Wearing a v-neck merino sweater and low-rise jeans (they were Kairi’s), he double-checked and made sure no paint landed on him. She would kill him if it so much did, but then again, why let him borrow it in the first place?

Sora sighed, about to check his phone for the time when something in his peripheral caught his eye.

Roxas’ coffee cup.

Sora stared at it like it was Roxas itself.

“Switching up because of a color, like really? I still don’t believe it.” Sora bent down and picked up the still hot cup. Maybe he’ll bump into him since they were both in basement? Sora thinned his lips before forming a full on pout. And then what? Roxas apologizing because he overreacted and Sora and him becoming friends?

 _Sure, Jan,_ Kairi’s voice flitted in his head.

“Class.” Sora suddenly realized. He threw a look back at his phone. 7:40. He had twenty minutes to find where his was class was in this basement. Sora spun at his heel, determined and nervously hoping he wouldn’t be late.

//

Roxas sat in front of the only easel that wasn’t teetering. Thank fucking God. He had already set out his paints and brushes on the wheelie, his palette beside it waiting to blessed. Roxas threw a look around, noticing the class a bit fuller than last year and the professor already cutting to the chase, speaking the model for class.

 _Shit, man._ Roxas exhaled through his nose, standing up. _What a morning._

He picked up his empty cup from the table cart, heading by the cabinets to get some turpentine. How some of his classmates were using water and this was the third class in the course mind-boggled him, but he shrugged. He knew they’d still pass, and that’s where Roxas was pretty sure the professor had a vendetta against him.

After he finished pouring only a bit because yeah, yeah, fumes, or whatever, Roxas set the turpentine back.

“Hey meany.”

Roxas stilled. He slowly turned his head to the side and met Sora’s apologetic eyes. In between both of them was Sora’s outstretched hand holding his coffee.

“I think this is yours.”

Roxas stared before slowly talking it. “...It is.”

It felt warm now.

“You’re welcome.” Sora said. He looked at the plastic cup beside Roxas and then at the turpentine container. “You’re going to get everyone high, y’know.”

Roxas raised a brow. “Where’s the fun in not?”

“...You’re weird.”

Roxas started, coffee cup almost slipping.

_“You’re kinda weird, but anyone who likes Holbein’s is perfect in my book!”_

Oh, these stupidly timed flashbacks. Roxas bit in the inside of cheek, shifting the coffee in another hand.

Sora thankfully didn’t notice the almost slip, because the guy was looking down at his shoes, a still bit dejected (but remaining around because he was hopeful). Roxas knew so because when Sora raised his eyes, he looked at Roxas with confused wonder. It made a weird feeling nip at him.

Roxas let out a dry laugh, unable to resist his bringing things full circle. “Hey, I thought we were friends. Holbein paints are my favorite too.”

Sora shot up at that. “I knew it! “Then, I take back my comment. Anyone who likes Holbein’s are cool people.”

Roxas’ smile stayed stuck and he tiredly dropped his eyes to his feet. Yeah, there goes reality again reminding him what happened. 

“Then, for all it’s worth,” Roxas put his coffee cup on the counter, “I’m sorry for that earlier. Had, uh, an elitist moment.”

Sora shook his head, immediately understanding. “I figured. It’s okay, you really must be a true fan. Can, um, we start over then?” He outstretched his hand, tanned, nimble fingers. Roxas looked at it.

And decided, mentally, _fuck it._

“Roxas.” He took Sora’s hand, noticing the immediate firm grip.

“Sora. So…where you sitting?”

//

The class ended rather quickly, much to Roxas surprise. He guessed it had to do with his newfound… _friend_ chattering brightly at his own canvas, just a few a feet beside him.

Roxas would only glance several times at Sora’s painting to see well damn, the guy could blend his paint. And right as the professor was commenting that it was fine if they left their canvas’ dry, Roxas looked back at Sora’s painting only to catch happy azure eyes watching him.

“What?” Roxas felt caught.

Sora bit his lip so he could shrug away a shy smile. _Okay_ , Roxas immediately crossed his arms. _He couldn’t do that because_ —

“I feel like I got your approval somehow. Did I?”

Roxas stared at Sora’s painting for a moment. “The lighting isn’t right, doesn’t matter how good you blend.”

“What—" Sora mimicked him by crossing his own arms. “You didn’t even draw the model in her pose. You made her into doing a handstand!”

Roxas snickered inwardly. That he did. “ _That_ was intentional. See how I got the lighting right, though?”

“But for the pose you chose, not the one given by the model.” Sora pouted. Roxas continued to snicker, knowing very well said professor could hear everything. He was proven right a second later when he heard a sigh from a corner of a now rapidly emptying classroom.

“Let’s get out of here.”

“My painting is still bomb.”

“Yeah, as in stinks.”

Sora gaped as he slung his bookbag on. “Oh, you are actually mean.”

Roxas shrugged, “Only to people I care about, apparently.” Or whatever Axel had said. And Roxas said it like a shrug thought, or something offhandedly, but it made Sora look at him like he'd just heard the most amazing thing in his life. The brunette ran forward, almost bum-rushing Roxas as he turned to exit the classroom, and Roxas cringed, “Hey, easy—"

“You’re the first friend I made here,” Sora said with a small smile, “That actually means a lot to me, dude.”

Roxas parted his lips, casting a look at him. Sora was looking straight ahead like he hadn’t admitted something incredibly sad--but then again it was the first day of class, who could judge the transfer student? Roxas smiled a little.

“You’re a sap.” He teased.

Sora knitted his brows at him. “Sue me.”

Roxas chuckled, still watching him before noticing a glint on Sora’s ear. The industrial piercing.

 _Yeah,_ Roxas thought, smiling more warmly as they walked out of the basement and listening to Sora randomly yap about his class schedule.

_You’re definitely a sap, Reina—_

Sora.

Oh, whatever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for any errors. also, idk shit about paints for the most part. leave a comment, it makes me happy. ;;;


	3. none of your business

It was enough to say that Sora considered his friendship with Riku to be over. Seeing your roommates’ ass cheeks the third day of having known them was maybe roommate life, but also, 'how do we even go from here' life. And after finding out he was in another class with Roxas later in the day, Sora realized he’d been putting off what happened this morning furthest away from his thoughts as possible. Roxas had a been a great distraction: his mean ol’ self and (yet) the occasional teasing eyes the blond would throw Sora’s way.

Somewhere with all that, Sora came into a conclusion: Everyone had their own way of being, Riku not being excluded from that. So he couldn’t blame the guy if he hated Sora’s guts from here on out.

Sora swallowed as he stood in front of their dorm door, hands hovering over the steel knob. He knew Riku was in because of the small expanse of warm light filtering under the door, and if he pressed his ears close (which he did), he could hear page flipping. Sora shut his eyes, lashes trembling as he nervously bit his lip, letting tremors spike through him. The anxiety was real but he couldn’t be a wuss forever, right?

Sora turned the knob and walked in, shaky smile in tow.

“Hey, Riku—” 

Riku swiveled on his desk chair and shot up so fast, Sora had to take a step back, arm slack in total surprise. His bookbag slid down his shoulder and his azure eyes threw a furtive glance at it, “Um—”

“I’m sorry about this morning.” Riku rushed out. Sora blinked. He took in Riku’s disheveled hair and averted green eyes, not even looking at him despite how close he got. “I...really am sorry.”

_What?_

“No…Riku,” Sora was confused, “I’m the one at fault here? I should’ve just used the bathroom to change—”

“You probably thought I went to class,” Riku quickly said, almost like Sora would cut him off before he could explain himself, “I was on my way actually, but then the dorm head stopped me to say there’s not going to be any hot water tonight, so…”

Riku was still looking away from him and Sora titled his head up at him. The movement made Riku look at him properly for once and Sora put on a smile. Why was Riku’s face red?

“I honestly thought you’d be mad at me, ‘cause we only just met each other and that, uh…happens. This is kind of surprising.”

Riku shook his head, green eyes now holding onto Sora carefully, and Sora could only stare back. It was somewhat becoming a bit unnerving because the seconds began to tick by and Riku didn’t speak or even so moved. Sora would lie if he didn’t say he didn’t feel his palms growing a bit sweaty and the smile on his face began to slack.

“I’m the kind of person…” Riku finally murmured, “…where if I want to say something, it isn’t exactly easy.”

 _I definitely noticed that,_ Sora wanted say, but he nodded instead and placed a hesitant hand Riku’s shoulder.

“Hey, you’re not alone at all. I’m like that too.”

Riku’s lips quirked, "I highly doubt that. I kinda have you down to say what’s on your mind.” Sora could only tuck in his lips and squint up at him (almost like: Do you want to rethink that again?) and Riku let out a laughy breath at his expression. “Well, not everything, but mostly.”

“You only known me for three days and you got it,” Sora grinned, “sooo…am I forgiven?”

“Am I?”

“We forgive each other!” Sora shot his hands up in the air. “Hakuna Matata!”

And Riku chuckled as Sora threw him an ecstatic smile. Who knew that having your roommate accidentally walk in, and seeing your ass would end up making him smile for first time since you guys met?

Sora froze just a fraction.

(Riku _was_ straight, right?)

//

It’s been a week so far from the first day. Every day the weather changed from hot to cold, the subways still reeked, the coffee lines were still long and Roxas was in hell. So, guess it was easy to say everything was pretty much the same.

Except this current hell of his was particularly different from usual.

Roxas shook his leg under his drafting desk, phone forgotten on one hand and his cheek resting on the other. He was staring straight ahead at Sora, the chick that just a month ago, made him feel things in a span of only a half hour. Except no, Sora wasn’t a chick. Sora was a straight up dude.

“Are you sure you don’t mind, Sora?” The professor asked one more time. He was asking like he cared.

“It’s alright, I’m totally cool with it. I’ve done it before.”

Roxas watched the professor still perform hesitation for theatrics before he, of course, gave in. “Alright. Well, whenever you’re ready, go along. You can choose any pose you like…”

Sora was gonna be the stand-in model today. Roxas dragged his eyes back to the brunette who nodded before heading towards him to drop off his bookbag. Their eyes met midway and Roxas raised his brows at him impassively. Sora threw a smile almost too slowly.

Oh. The idiot _hasn’t_ done this before.

“So, what was the reason for lying again?” Roxas muttered to him when Sora crouched to place the bag beside him.

“It’s not lying if I’m being helpful,” Sora pouted, “It’s just doing a pose and standing there. How hard can it be?”

“You tell me about it later.”

Sora threw him a set of nervous eyes, almost a signal for help, and Roxas was about to just shrug him off, not even wish goody two-shoes luck (because as he learned in a span of a week, Sora was just that), but then Sora did something. Could Roxas say it started here, or then at Blick? When was it really?

“Oh, fuck me.” Sora muttered, straightening up. “Okay, you volunteered Sora, c'mon...”

Roxas sat there, unblinking as he watched Sora motivate himself to get over his anxiety. For the third time with this guy, he found himself with his mouth open, because he was what? Floored? Shocked? Suddenly sweaty with his heart beating at weird rate? Roxas shut his mouth this time before Sora could notice.

“Huh.” Was all he said.

Sora paused his speech. “Huh?”

Roxas continued to stare at him like he was seeing him for the first time. So Sora wasn’t just some goody two-shoes who admonished Roxas from skipping the coffee line this morning, or respected boundaries enough to know they just met, so maybe not hovering each other every time during and after class was a good idea.

The guy never cursed in the first week they’ve become…friends. Roxas noticed it quickly because the urge to swear more around Sora nabbed at him pretty bad. He knew it was his own way of teasing, not that he’d admit to that out loud.

Anyway, Sora just cursed. This guy was human, not a priest in the making.

(Well—it would be weird to find a cross-dressing priest in the making—)

Sora was suddenly in his face and Roxas drew in a breath.

“I don’t know why you always have your mouth open.” A deft finger and Roxas’ chin was being pushed up.

_When’d that happen again?_

Roxas’ blinked and Sora sighed.

“Sketch me in a funny pose, 'kay?” 

//

The class was over and Sora was seriously concerned. Every ten minutes he had changed his poses, Roxas’ face went through a rather alarming set of expressions. From totally impassive to a smirk, then to a wicked smile (if you can call it a smile) before just covering his mouth with sadistic eyes. Even throwing the blond some curious looks were ignored, so Sora had to settle for when it was all over to see what was the big deal. Had he been posing weird? Shaking too much?

He found out.

“You just drew me as an octopus!” Sora swatted him with the sketch papers and Roxas finally let out a guffaw (Sora had to do a double-take on that one). “And to all my poses…I’m an octopus in each and every one?!”

“You said to draw you funny, right? There’s funny then there’s your funny.”

“I said to draw me in a funny pose!” Sora threw another look at the sketches. Octopuses with his head on it? What was he, Cthulhu? “And hey, what’s that supposed to mean!”

“Your funny isn’t funny.” Roxas said simply.

Sora ignored his teasing eyes. “And yours is?”

“If I hurt your feelings, I apologize.” Roxas came off the laugh. “Really.” The blond suddenly had a sincere face: concerned cerulean eyes, knitted brows and a sad quirk of lips. Well, that’s a first.

“I mean…Roxas...”

“It’s fine. I get I went too far.”

“No, wait.” Sora sighed, “I was kidding—"

“Good, so was I.” Roxas was suddenly already walking ahead. “I’m heading to lunch.”

Sora felt a pinch at the corner of his forehead. Why did he have a crazy feeling this guy got off on teasing him, a crazy feeling that totally felt like a gut one? Sora bit the inside of his cheek, throwing a furtive look at Roxas’ desk and seeing the remnants of broken charcoal pencil. A mischievous grin flitted his face before he quickly schooled a neutral expression.

“Wait, I’m hungry too. I’ll go with you.”

Sora picked up the charcoal pieces just before Roxas could turn around. “I’m not going to eat alone though. Just so you know.”

“That’s fine,” Sora slapped a hand on Roxas’ back (who didn’t sway, instead just threw him a weird glance), “I get to meet the other people you tease to death.”

“What?”

“Off to the café!”

//

When Roxas showed up with a plus one at their dorm dining hall, Axel was barely surprised to see as to who it was. Well, he’s never seen Sora, but Roxas had a habit of saying completely everything with just one sentence: “I met a weirdo named Sora.”

And that ‘weirdo’ was right by his side, looking around the dining hall with awe and sparkly eyes. Weirdo in Roxas language was for _friend,_ and Axel, raising a thin red brow at Roxas’ mental facepalming when Sora stopped to stare at the _wallpaper_ in wonder, had to use everything in him to not point out how odd and kind of fast this was.

Because Roxas didn’t do this. At all.

Xion elbowed his side. “That’s him?”

“Yep. Sora’s his name.”

“He’s a cutie.”

Axel cast her a glance. Xion pretended not to notice. This stupid game they played.

“Why are you acting like this,” Roxas was saying, “The dorms buildings are all the same—”

“H-Quad isn’t like this.”

Axel, Xion and Roxas cringed simultaneously. Oh, that’s…Do they even have hot water in that building?

Sora sat down first, setting his tray down. “Hello!” He was all dimpled grin and tanned skin, and okay, Axel couldn’t hold it against Xion. The dude also smelled like vanilla flowers by the beach, what the hell.

“Hello yourself," Axel said and threw a nod at Roxas, “this guy told us all about you.”

“No. I actually didn’t—”

“I’m Xion!” Xion chirped, “Nice to meet you, Sora.”

“Nice to meet you,” Sora blinked, and Axel knew why. He didn’t say his name. “So he did tell you about me.”

Roxas finally sat down with a heavy sigh and Axel let out a laugh. “More or less. The name’s Axel.”

“Also known as a pain in the ass.”

“That should really be my line,” Axel quickly threw a whisper to the brunette, and Xion laughed as Sora flushed with a shy smile. Roxas didn’t miss it, narrowing his eyes and absently grabbing a fry.

“So how was dreaded PPL? New leaf starting this week or what?” Xion stole the very same fry.

“I was the model in today’s class,” Sora cut in before Roxas could respond, “and he drew me as an octopus.”

_“Roxas.”_

“Jesus Christ, just fucking pass the class, man!”

Roxas shrugged, “I’m simple guy. If I hate a class, I hate a class.”

“So why not pass it just to get rid of it?”

“He’s a simple man, Xion. Don’t you get how uncomplicated he is?” Axel snorted.

Roxas threw a fry at him.

“But he _doesn’t_ hate the class,” Sora said suddenly. “He keeps failing it on purpose, right? Who does that unless they don’t want to let the course go?"

It was quiet for a second.

Xion was frozen, mid-stealing a fry and Axel had paused from taking a sip of his sprite. Roxas was already watching Sora from the corner of his eye.

He kicked Sora from under the table, jerking everyone by surprise. “You’re such a weirdo.”

“Ow, _me?_ ”

Xion burst out laughing, leaning on a blinking Axel. “Oh my god, oh my god, it makes _so_ much sense!”

“Who told you I failed the class before?” Roxas hissed.

"The professor did! Today!” 

Axel was grinning, “Oh, this is gonna be good. What did Professor Eraqus say exactly? Like, word for word?”

“Everyone knows he wants you banned from his courses after this semester for sure,” Xion giggled, “I bet he was like, _I’m begging you, Sora! Help him out!_ ”

“ _Oh, son. Can I depend on you?_ ” Axel joined the mimicking.

“Please!”

Axel and Xion were dying of laughter as Sora scooted more to the right of his chair. Roxas looked like he wasn’t satisfied with that one kick. “Um…well, the Professor said—”

“I didn’t even hear him say anything to you.” 

Hold on. “So that’s why you were staring at me funny?” Sora squinted at Roxas. “You were listening in!”

“You gonna beat me up for it?”

“Well no, ‘cause it looks like _you’re_ gonna beat me up.”

“Is that permission?”

“You do what you want, ya big meany.” Sora edged almost sullenly as Roxas just rolled his eyes.

“Alright, alright,” Axel chuckled as Xion was still beside herself with giggles, “Forgive me but, I was under the impression you two were friends?”

“Yeah Roxas, you’re being more sadistic than usual today.”

Sore bit into his burger with knitted brows, “He’s the first friend I’ve had that acts like he has a personal vendetta against me—”

“Yup.” Axel replied.

“We can relate.” Xion agreed.

“But I know that he’s just like this, y’know, personality-wise,” Sora shrugged, slowly throwing Roxas an unsure look. “I’ll get used to it.”

Roxas stilled at that, blinking slowly at his soggy fries. Axel smiled and Xion gave a nod.

“Well then,” She smiled, “Roxas, you finally found someone willing to take your shit.”

Roxas looked up just as Axel was saying _I mean, I also exist_ , and looked towards Sora who was eyeing him skeptically, a blob of ketchup on the corner of his lip.

Roxas made a face at him. And Sora made one right back.

//

After lunch and snickering secretly with Axel and Xion about the beautiful _art_ on Roxas’ back, Sora had one last class (which was was Roxas-free thankfully, or he’d be dead). Sculpting was his only elective for the semester, and it was fun, seeing as he’d been stuck trying to make the same bowl from a week ago. The rest of the class was on vases now and Sora finally was sheepish enough today to finally ask the professor for help.

After somewhat successful progress, class went by and was done, and Sora was humming, walking in his dorm room. He let his book bag slide off his shoulder and by the foot of his bed with a small thud, and when he looked up he was surprised to see Riku already there, shrugging off a yellow sweater.

“Oh,” Sora smiled and smooth green eyes met his, just as surprised, “Just got back too?”

“Yeah...last class for the day.”

“Mine too.” Sora mirrored Riku by taking his own jacket off and then plopping on his bed. It had been chilly today. “How was your day?”

Riku looked to the side, silver brows knitting.

“Shitty.”

Sora blinked. And then cocked his head. Well, he wasn’t expecting honesty or this to actually go anywhere. A dimpled smile still somehow crept his face. Wasn’t to say he didn’t like it though. Ever since the... _butt_ incident, and despite them both forgiving each other, Sora noticed it was almost like Riku couldn’t shake off the awkwardness from the whole situation. Example: Sora would lift up his shirt to change into a new one and Riku would be excusing himself from their room, pink faced. At first Sora thought, well maybe he's just being super courteous, but then he’d tell Riku he didn’t have to do that, and Riku, straight-faced with a slight flush would just say: “Nah. I have to.”

Sora wished the idea of awkwardness didn’t exist. But, maybe this would pass?

Riku was sighing and that brought Sora back.

“Hey, today couldn’t have been that bad. What happened?”

Riku raised his eyes and Sora saw how pained they were. 

“One of my favorite cameras...the lens.”

He threw a glance at something behind him and Sora felt a twinge of sympathy. “Is it…broken?”

“Because of my stupidity, yeah.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t your fault. Those things are heavy.”

Riku’s slight lift of brow gave Sora an answer that made him look away with a slight burn at the back of his ears. Riku’s arms were muscular, not overly so, but was noticeable that the guy worked out some. Not that Sora _noticed_ or anything. He slid his eyes back at Riku and the said roommate was almost smiling.

“I can definitely assure you that wasn’t the problem.”

“Riku, I’m trying to cheer you up and you show off,” Sora pouted at him, “Let me borrow some of your dumbbells.”

“They’re under my bed and for the taking. I never said you couldn’t use ‘em.”

“Never said I could.” Sora got up suddenly, necklace panging against his collarbone and Riku watched him cross over to his side. “I can’t just use your stuff without permission. What if I break it? Then we’d be in this situation and you’ll be mad because of me.”

“The way you connect things—”

“But you know it’s true! Hold on, I’m getting ‘em.”

Riku could only stare with an unreadable expression as Sora bent to his knees, arching his back to reach the dumbbells underneath the bed. “I’m not mad though…” He muttered, watching a small expanse of tan skin revealing itself as Sora’s sweater hitched down, and Riku visibly swallowed, taking notice of symmetrical dimples right above his brief line. 

_Him._ Riku’s eyes narrowed.

“I know,” Sora’s muffled reply came. “I’m talking about _if_ I took them—"

"...the reason why I dropped the camera...”

Sora had never shot up so fast, and neither did Riku because just as the brunette jumped up to shout, his head connected right with the wooden frame, giving Riku near the only shock of his life.

“OW!”

“Sora—!”

“What do you mean it’s my fault!” Sora cradled his head with tears pricking the corners of his life. “Ow, ow, ow!” He rolled on the carpeted ground back and forth as Riku stared helplessly, looking more and more guilty by the second.

“Sora, I wasn’t really—I was talking out loud,” Sora was now in fetal position and in fits of whines and groans, and Riku couldn’t help then but knee-shuffle to his side, “Let me see your head—”

“No, don’t touch it—!”

“I’m not going to, Sora, I just want to see—”

Riku put a hand on Sora’s arm, and almost immediately, the boy stilled, blinking wet azure eyes up at concerned green ones. “What did you mean by it being my fault?”

Riku shook his head. “I was thinking out loud, Sora. I wasn’t talking about you.”

Sora squinted at him, brown spiky strands of hair now mussed slightly over his eyes. Riku watched him for a moment before extending a hand and pushing the hairs away.

Sora flinched, and Riku, flushed, quickly looking away. _He hadn't expected that. At all._

“You had lint in your hair. From the carpet.”

“Oh.”

Sora realized then, right at that moment— his ears had never stopped burning.

//

Roxas knitted his brows, the sewer smoke hitting him as wind gusts slapped through the street. The blustery weather reminded him that it was going to rain later into the night and early in the morning, something he very much didn’t appreciate. Also, Axel had a habit of stealing and losing all his umbrellas (“How did you lose it this time!” “I forgot I had it with me on the train, not that big a deal.” “Not that big a—listen, y’know that stupid phrase you keep saying? Take your own advice sometime.” “Okay. Lose all Roxas’ umbrellas, _got it memorized_.”) so he had to either go buy one or bum one from Xion.

Or Sora.

Roxas bit the inside of his cheek, crossing over to the subway station. Sora, huh. He didn’t even refer to him as Reina anymore. Why would he? Sora was Sora, Reina was Reina. They acted so differently yet so much the same. Reina had been more…what, blushy? Bothered? Roxas huffed a laugh and shook his head as he imagined her flushed face, pink, glossy lips parted. Jeez, met the girl only once and he was still thinking about—

Sora. You’re thinking about Sora.

Roxas thud his head on the steel beam of the subway platform, ignoring the concerned stares of some onlookers. I’m thirsting after a dude. A dude that likes to cross-dress and pretend that I hadn’t seen him doing just that. Roxas had done enough theories. He thought, well maybe Sora had a twin sister and coincidentally just bumped into her at Blick?

But then he put Axel to it a couple of days ago during lunch.

“Ask Sora if he has a twin sister.” Roxas said, watching the brunette at the vending machine.

“What the hell, why?”

“Just do it.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

Roxas had stared hard at him and Axel stared back calmly.

“Looks like I’m doing it then.”

And when Axel had come back with Sora behind him, staring up at him like a puppy, he was shaking his head with a confused pair of eyes.

“He says he doesn’t.”

“Axel,” Sora began, “You’re…really tall.”

“Yes. Thank you. I noticed that myself.”

Roxas once again had found himself narrowing his eyes back and forth at them.But not going to think about that either. Because Roxas had felt weird then, just like how he was starting to feel now. It was almost as if something was telling him he didn’t like the way Sora looked at Axel, not one bit. Almost like…kind of like…

//

“It’s Axel!” Sora beamed as he sat beside him. Roxas just stood in front of the table, frozen in place and coffee in hand as he watched the brunette raise his hand for Axel to give him a high-five.

Axel pretended he was about to meet his hand, before swooping him for a loose side hug and noogie.

“Hey—!”

“This is seriously the second time you fall for it!”

Roxas watched as Sora laughed brightly, flushed tanned skin and perfect, messy hair sticking out at all sorts. His dimpled smile shone right up at Axel who was laughing just the same before he trailed his eyes at Roxas, almost remembering that he was there.

“You just gonna stand there or what?”

“Well, I feel like I’m interrupting.”

Roxas almost shut his eyes in total frustration for letting that slip. Already mentally kicking himself, he noticed how sharp Axel’s eyes got before his lips slid into a smirk. Roxas’ knitted his brows at him, determined to act like he didn’t say anything but too late, the guy was annoyingly perceptive.

And honest in the worst of times.

“I feel like I got caught by a jealous boyfriend, whoopsie,” Axel let Sora go and raised both hands in surrender, “I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

“What are you talking about?” Sora pouted.

“Yeah, what _are_ you talking about, Axel?” Roxas’ eyes were yelling ‘ _please, just shut the fuck up_ ’, and Axel noticed but pretended like he didn’t.

“Sora, what do you think about Roxas?”

Sora furrowed his brows at the random question and Roxas sat down at that, hoping Axel would get the message behind his murderous eyes. “What do I think about Roxas?”

Soft eyes slid over to him, and Roxas felt Sora regarding him blankly. He met his eyes evenly with a raised brow and the brunette blinked before settling into wide, soft smile. Roxas felt his heart thud, and his palms quickly grow sweaty.

“Roxas isn’t so bad. I like him.”

Axel paused for a split second before laughing, green eyes flicking over to the blond. “Roxas, you hear that—”

Roxas was suddenly inspecting his lap like it was the most interesting thing he ever seen. Because maybe it was the most interesting thing to help him hide his stupid, burnt face. Both Sora and Axel blinked at him, but the redhead got the strange cue quick and elbowed Sora’s side.

“Hey, I need some paint.”

“Huh? Whatddya mean?”

“What does I need some paint mean to you?”

“But you said you don’t like painting—”

Roxas hated how much his ears were burning.

 _I like him_ , Sora’s voice rang in his head. Then Reina’s face, smiling with the light blush on her cheeks.

//

Okay. This was getting bad. _Fast._

He toed off his black canvas sneakers, throwing himself face first on his bed. He tried not to think about how Axel was staring at him from his side of the room, the burning hole in his back growing hotter and hotter. Roxas grasped his pillow into a tight fist.

“Woah there, lover boy. It’s not my business, so I won’t say much.” Axel’s mellow voice broke the quiet.

“How about nothing at all.”

“You like him that bad?”

Roxas’ eyes widened and angrily jerked his head at his roommate, “The fuck you even talking about, Axel?”

“So we’re really playing the mind your business game, thought that was for show. Why is it that you and Xion like games so much?”

“Between you two, I mind my fucking business just fine, don’t I?”

“Oh,” Axel smiled almost sadly, “You know about us.”

“Of course I fucking know,” Roxas spat, “You think I haven't noticed my best friends eye fucking each other any chance they got?”

“Whew, I really thought you were dense. But not this dense.” Roxas started, raising an angry brow. Axel shrugged. “It’s one-sided, dummy.”

 _Oh for the love of_ , Roxas rolled his eyes before letting himself fall back on his bed. They're fucking around, and Axel thinks Xion doesn't--jesus, and _he_ was dense? 

“I’m pretty sure Sora’s gay,” Axel mused. “I was pretty sure you weren’t, though. No judgement.”

“Axel. Shut it.”

“He’s a little, well, what is it about him…the kid does have charm, I’ll admit,” Axel nonchalantly tilted his head to the left, ignoring Roxas’ pillow as it hit the wall behind him. “And he is pretty good looking for a dude. A little too much lashes though.”

Roxas was sitting up by his elbows, hard eyed. “Why do you keep insisting going on this topic?”

“Because you need to move on and I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t advise you otherwise.”

“And who said I haven't already?”

Axel slid his eyes to the picture frames on Roxas’ wall shelves, most of them being family and some including himself and Xion, except for one frame where stood one person alone. She had blond hair and warm blue eyes looking right into the camera.

“Well, why is _that_ still there?”

Roxas shrugged. Why not. Despite everything and how he felt about her…he still didn’t feel resolved. Who was Axel to comment on that, or try to dig as to why? It really wasn’t his business.

It seemed like Axel read his mind.

“Right, none of my business though. Got it memorized.”

“Do you?” The redhead threw a limp smile at him and Roxas sighed. “I just…it’s weird. You’re making this weird by even addressing it.”

“Well, it’s here Roxas. Your little gay feelings—”

“Axel.”

“Just calling them for what they are. Sora isn’t a chick as far as we’re all concerned, so this is as gay feelings as they come, my friend.”

He still hasn’t told Axel what happened that day at Blick. How he could even begin? It would just make things weird now since Axel met Sora, and while he wasn’t that type of person to make things weird over something like that, Axel still had painfully awkward moments where if he was keeping something inside, it’d all over his face.

And Sora. Roxas began to realize that maybe the brunette probably forgot even meeting him. He seemed almost too nice to lie up a whole storm about meeting Roxas for the first time. The crossdressing thing…it also seemed like a secret. Sora dressed ‘like a guy’ for the most part, so Roxas didn’t really see the Reina part of him at all since then.

“What do you suggest I do?” It slipped out of his mouth before he could catch it and Roxas snapped his head up, almost mortified. Axel had a pleased face.

“Well...I suggest you go be the flirt I know you could be. Ask him out, take him on some dates…make some home videos—”

“I hate you so much.”

“He’d be someone I totally approve.”

“And since when do my relationships need your approval?”

“Since the witch.”

Roxas squinted disappointingly at him.

Axel shrugged. “All because you don’t hate her, doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t, okay? Just take my advice. Also, hey.”

_“What?”_

“Teasing isn’t flirting, Roxas.”

Roxas flushed, snapping head away.

“He thinks you hate him, so stop it.”

“…Good.”

“You're going to regret not taking my advice." Axel sang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can anyone guess who riku is thinking about jdshjfjkdj anyway, please if you are reading, leave a comment or a kudo! they make my day and make me update!


	4. vnecks and twilight hall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the pacing is off but oop...bear with me y'all, im sorry;; and also apologies for any future errors.

He resealed the black nail polish bottle with a tight squeeze, a bare slip of tongue poking from between his lips. Once that was good and firmly put, he set it back inside the shoebox beside him, which was littered with a haphazard of nail polish bottles, toe separators and polish removers. He stared at the mess for a moment before shrugging and putting the lid back on the box. 

There were birds chirping outside and at their song, he smiled and looked down at his toes, giving them a wiggle. The polish was still wet and all shiny looking, so he’d give them five minutes to dry before he had to go class. Hopefully they didn’t smudge up.

Class. What time was it anyway?

And why wasn’t Riku already up?

Sora took a peak at his phone and saw he had well enough time to grab breakfast and even sit down to eat it too. He lifted his eyes to across him and there was a steady rise and fall from the tufts of silver hair poking through the comforter.

“Riku,” Sora said, "You’re not going to wake up?”

No response and he expected as much. For Riku to sleep in like this, he must be out cold. 

“Rikuuu.” 

Sora sighed, getting up and crossing over carefully in outstretched toes. The guy didn’t even budge even with his voice a little louder now. His gave his hands a once-over and noted in content that the black polish had long ago dried, so he didn’t more hesitate when he settled on a hand on Riku’s pillow, giving it a nudge.

“Riku, hey—”

A firm hand suddenly encircled around his wrist and gave a tug, pulling a yelping Sora down. He gasped, feeling immediately toned arms around his back, squeezing him close. Sora couldn’t stop blinking in total surprise, and to his hidden terror, he vaguely realized he’d forgotten about his still freshly painted toes and they had somehow pressed against Riku’s bedsheets _. So much for that._ Sora squirmed, squeezed in between Riku’s arms, and speaking of which—

“Hey, buddy—”

“Van…” A breathy voice murmured, warm morning breath hitting Sora’s face.

“Riku, no offense, but—”

Riku snapped his eyes open, startled blue-green eyes landing on Sora’s face, cheek pudgy and right on his chest. Azure eyes blinked at him and Riku stared for a moment before springing up and scrambling as far away from the brunette as possible. Sora sat up a second later, watching Riku looked around like he was in a room on a fire.

“Hey, you’re acting like I’m the one with the morning breath!”

“Why are you on my bed again?”

Sora carefully got off it, glancing quickly down at his toes. They were surprisingly fine. “You’re the one who grabbed me and pulled me down, don’t you remember?” Riku’s bed hair and slow blink gave Sora the answer he needed. “Well, you were probably half-sleeping."

"But you're saying I did that?

“Yeah.”

Riku sighed, tilting his head to look much more carefully at him. “Why is your face red?”

_Oh._

Sora cleared his throat, quickly standing upright. “Why is your, erm—why don’t you have a shirt on?”

Riku looked down at himself and Sora cursed inwardly. Stupid, stupid question. “Because I was sleeping?”

“R—right.”

“Were you trying to wake me up?”

“Yeah, because of…” Sora straightened up, realization hitting his features, and quickly went over to his shoes by his bed. “Class! I got to go, and so do you!”

Riku could only give him a silent stare as the brunette had flown to his side of the room, throwing on his socks and converse with quick jerks and pausing every second or so to check his reflection on the mirror. By the time he was shrugging on a really oversized black hoodie, leaving the hood over his head, Riku snapped fully awake, his eyes widening by a fraction.

“Hey…”

Sora stilled, fingers now buckling his belt. “Yeah?”

Flushed tan skin, spiky, yet fluffy hair framing his face, a slight smile bordering on shyness and excitement. Riku wanted to think for a moment, believe—that even they looked so much the same, he knew they were so different. No amount of black Sora could go and throw on, or black nail polish that he could paint on his nails—no, he couldn’t ever be him.

_Still..._

“What are you doing tonight?” Riku smiled. "You free?"

Sora blinked at him before crimson burnt his cheeks again. “Um, I—uh?”

He didn’t care if Sora wasn’t him. He could _pretend._ Riku smiled, crossing his arms over his chest. “Is that a no?”

“No!” Sora yelled before fumbling and throwing his hands in his hoodie pocket. “I mean, yes—wait!”

“I get back tonight around seven. Meet me here later?”

Sora swallowed, trying to hide his eyes from becoming hearts. “Yeah! I’ll—I’ll already be here, Riku.”

Riku laughed and Sora realized he failed keeping his cool a long time ago, so he did what he thought was the only thing that could save him face.

He bolted.

//

So that was maybe the first time he’d seen Riku laugh like that. And maybe that was Riku, just now, asking him on a date, without a shirt on. _God_ , Sora walked briskly through campus, throwing his azure eyes up at the sky. _Please tell me it wasn’t some sick joke. Please tell me he wasn’t just asking to hang out. And please tell me he was dreaming about a van, not an actual person named Van._

Yeah, he hadn't let that escape him. Sora sighed, dejected eyes to the ground.

It was such a stupid, random crush. It was just the third week of dorming together and while he’d already made a good set of friends, his life decided that wasn’t okay and that a mandatory crush was in order. On his roommate no less, too! Sora wanted to scream, but he quickly decided, no, bad idea, and opted for just stomping the ground with every step until he was satisfied. Life wasn’t fair, Riku was sure enough straight, and Sora was pretty much sure he’d bitten some of his nail polish off already.

“First time I see you stressed. I kind of like it.”

Sage and mint, and Sora looked to his left, seeing cool eyes with a color much like his own, almost smile at him. Roxas.

“That’s because you’re a sadist,” Sora sighed, raking a hand through his hair, hoodie falling off. "Mornin', Roxas.”

“Do _not_ copy what Xion says.”

“You’re mad ‘cause it’s true?”

Roxas shrugged easily, "I’m a realist. There’s a difference.”

“Mhm.”

Sora didn’t even meet Roxas’ questioning eyes as they trudged to Twilight Hall for sketching. Roxas wasn’t used to a quiet Sora, and despite what he said earlier, didn’t much like it either. At all. He stuffed his hands in his jacket as he slowed his pace while watching Sora, who unaware, continued to walk ahead of him. He really didn’t fucking like this. Why was Sora...sad? Stressed? He didn't know.

With the brunette’s hunched shoulders, Roxas stared and recognized dejection as quick as he saw it.

“Sora.”

The brunette continued to walk for a moment before realizing Roxas wasn’t beside him. He turned and the blond raised a brow at him. Sora smiled sheepishly before comedically walking backwards, just so they could be side by side again. Roxas wanted to roll his eyes at the action but seeing a blip of regular Sora, just for a second, made him feel…

“Weirdo.” He smirked.

“That’s what you called me for?” Sora edged.

Roxas grinned. “You bet.”

Sora pouted at him, full bottom lip jutting and Roxas blinked, unnerved for a second. “You’re the bigger weirdo between the two of us. You know it.”

And with that, like he said the biggest diss in the world, Sora brought up his hands and threw on his hoodie, letting his fingers tighten the string. Roxas watched his nimble fingers, taking in the black nail polish with a burning at the back of his neck.

“You painted your nails?”

“You going to fight me for it?” Sora mimicked him from earlier. So not only was he sad and stressed, Roxas noted, but snappy too. Guess you could blame that last part on him, though.

“I can’t ask a question?”

“I—well, you asked it weird!” Sora huffed before turning and walking back ahead. “Let’s go.”

“I want to know what’s got you all moody,” Roxas fell into step with him with searching eyes, “I never knew you were like that—could be like that.”

“Surprise.” Sora said with sarcasm. “Don’t worry, I don’t like when I’m like this either.”

Roxas opened his mouth, about to ask well, okay, just tell me what the fuck happened—but Sora turned his head at him then, hoodie making his face surrounded by his brown spikes, and he smiled softly, warm azure eyes landing on Roxas’ confused cobalt ones.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’ll definitely tell you later, but for now,” Sora hooked his arm around Roxas’ and stuffed his own hand back in his hoodie pocket, “let’s get to class before we’re late and I get more sad. ‘Kay?”

Roxas felt his breath leave him. Sora had his arm—they were— “What are you doing?” The brunette leaned away from him for a moment, emphasizing their linked arms.

He grinned. “Ready…set…”

 _Stop smiling at me like that._ “Hey, Sora—”

“GO!”

Roxas yelped as his feet moved on their own, Sora right beside him speeding off like a madman. He was laughing, and Roxas high off the sound, had adrenaline quickly pumping through him. He tried to ignore the heat burning his cheeks, especially when Sora shot a look at him, his blazing azure eyes that felt like it knew him down to the bone.

//

His cheeks still felt too hot, and also sketching class was annoying.

Because it did nothing to help him. At all.

Roxas bit the inside of his cheek, quickly glancing across the room. For one, the professor did assigned seating and got into a total hissy fit if someone ignored it, so Sora was at the other side of the wide classroom. He was sketching away his mannequin with a sad look in eyes that screamed for needed comfort. Roxas’ fingers twitched around his pencil and he looked away, mildly embarrassed by his own emotions. What, like he could provide it? Was he okay? (Could he really blame himself for finding Sora…hold that thought.)

Another reason why sketching class was annoying. This was it right here.

Sora had a habit of wearing v-neck sweaters and randomly tying his shoes like he was getting up to go somewhere. It happened almost in every sketching class, like a habit of its own, and he desperately wanted to point it out, like what the hell was up with that—do you need help tying your shoes properly—but then he’d get distracted.

Sora’s chest was in full view, the crown necklace of his hovering in the air, and although from far, Roxas could see his…he narrowed his eyes trying to not gag at his own self. _You’re gagging but you’re living for it_ , Axel’s voice sang in his head. _No. I’m fucking not_ , Roxas edged back in his seat, fingers taut around his pencil. He hated this. You’d think after he’d found out he was crushing on a dude, this shit would stop but—

He looked around, not at all checking if anyone else was enjoying the view. Everyone else was buried in their sketchpads, and Roxas exhaled through his nose, feeling one step behind his own actions. The sour look on his face had somehow quickly turned to relief, and before he knew it, he was getting up and walking to the brunette.

 _Why are you sad? Can I help? The professor left for coffee so we can talk._ He wanted ask these questions.

When Sora looked up from his tied laces and they met his eyes with surprise, all that shit went out the window.

“You need a undershirt.” Roxas said, hating himself. _Jesus._

Sora blinked. “Huh?”

“I can see your whole life from over there, you know.”

Sora was still looking up at him curiously. Roxas felt the same burning from earlier hit him again and looked away, pointedly.

“Your sweater. I can see your chest.”

“Oh.” Sora froze for a moment before grinning. “Yeah, I took off my hoodie because it’s always hot in here. You don’t feel hot?”

 _That’s not the—_ Roxas snapped his eyes at him and Sora immediately almost shrank, confused. “Forget it, I…do you have, uh…”

Sora raised a neat brow a him, lips parted and looking very much still lost. Roxas’ face flamed up a hundred degrees.

“Do you need a pencil?” The brunette offered one up and Roxas snatched it, quickly walking away and going back to his seat. He made it a point to not look up and to not even think in taking one more peak either.

He really did hate sketching class.

//

When class was over and Sora was shuffling his hoodie on in a weird worm dance, Roxas clenched his teeth (because one, adorable, and two) no more being pussy and just ask him up front about it. They were friends, right? It was normal to ask anyway. And he was thinking too much about this.

“Sora.” He said, stopping in front of the brunette.

The wiggling stopped and Roxas raised a brow before Sora’s figure slouched dejectedly.

“Help?” His muffled voice said.

Roxas rolled his eyes, setting down his sketchpad. He got closer, helping Sora find that no—the arm sleeve wasn’t the head part of the hoodie, and no that wasn’t it either—

Sora’s head eventually popped through with a flushed grin and Roxas took a step back, alarmed at how close their faces were. “Hi.” Roxas frowned at him and the brunette tilted his head in curiosity. “What?”

“...You said you’d tell me.”

It took Sora a moment, maybe a moment too long before he realized what Roxas was talking about. His bright eyes then glazed over and he was suddenly looking at the blond with a sad smile. “Oh, yeah. I did say that.”

Roxas would be lying if he said it didn’t piss him off. That he cared more than he wanted to, than Sora even expected him to, but for some reason, he found himself staring back the brunette evenly, not caring about his own prideful feelings for a rare moment.

“You did. I’m expecting you to honor it.

“Here?”

They both glanced around the classroom and Roxas shook his head. “I know you don’t have a class after this. Wanna go to the dining hall?” Sora didn’t say anything at that but had lowered his eyes to his desk. Bad offer. “Let’s go out back then.”

At this, the brunette perked up. “We’re allowed to go back there?”

“Duh, it’s where the bicycle racks are.”

“I didn’t know.”

Roxas looked at Sora for a moment, noticing his voice was getting quiet again, almost like he didn’t want to be heard. He frowned before letting a smile slip through his lips and once again, his actions were a step ahead of his thought process.

He raised a hand and settled it on Sora’s head. Sora raised his confused eyes, following the action and before he could realize, or even stop him, Roxas let his smile grow wider.

“Stop being weird, Sora.” He said, ruffling his hair.

//

It was pretty tense. At least on Sora’s end.

He didn’t like lying to his friends or making believe he was something he wasn’t to them, so when Roxas and him got to the back of Twilight Hall, right by the wheelchair ramp, he felt uneasy but resolute. It was still too early to admit _that_ sort of thing, that he found it fun to do and that it was just something more of a pastime, but he could at least very well admit who he was. What he was. Same thing.

Sora inhaled, watching Roxas lean against the ramp with his jacket on his shoulders and bookbag by his legs. The blond had actually looked concerned, and Sora didn’t know whether to be happy or be ready for judgement. He had a feeling in his gut that maybe Roxas wasn’t like that, or Axel, and Xion—but still…he had moments of insecurity like everyone else.

“Well?” Roxas drawled. “Do I have to beat it out of you?”

“You can try.” Sora said with a smile.

Roxas was narrowing his eyes at him before he mirrored a smile of his own. “Nah. I can be patient.”

Sora smiled wider before he nodded, reaffirming himself. Okay. He had to tell Roxas anyway, sooner or later.

“So, um. I…kind of have something for my roommate.”

Roxas stared at him with the same expression he had seconds before. He was waiting for him to continue, Sora realized.

“And, well, he’s a guy, so…”

The blond still held the same expression. Sora raised a brow almost helplessly at him, wondering where was the reaction and why was it taking so long?

“You’re not going to say anything?”

Roxas shrugged. “I don’t know what you want me to say. Is that it?”

“No.”

“Oh. So say more.”

“I kind of wasn’t expecting—” Sora looked away, scratching his cheek nervously. “I didn’t think the conversation would go this far?”

“You thought wrong. Continue.”

Sora met his eyes with nervous smile and for a moment, maybe he imagined it, but Roxas hesitated in smiling back. But maybe that’s what he wanted to see, what he was used to. Sora ignored it.

“Okay, well. I’m just going to rant about it real fast.”

Roxas nodded and Sora exhaled, crossing his arms as he began explaining.

//

The feeling was kind of too familiar.

Like his stomach was being carved out, or less gruesome: as if someone had kicked it repeatedly until they made sure he was down. Roxas remembered this feeling too well, and he had even told himself, like a mantra, with how many times he repeated it: never again, never again. He wouldn’t let someone close to him ever again.

His arms felt itchy. Like he wanted to punch something.

But all he could do was watch Sora animatedly talk about his roommate, who this morning had pulled him close into a hug and literally asked him out after. Sora was confused, _I don’t know if that’s a straight thing, like if he’s just asking if he wants to hang out with me or—_

Roxas smiled sardonically at that. What an idiot.

Sora had paused, asked him what he was smiling about. Roxas shook his head, saying his roommate sounded pretty obvious about what he meant, and Sora’s cheeks were burning, sputtering on to continue his story.

_'He caressed my cheek, pushed aside my hair. I mean, he walked on me almost naked the first days of us dorming together!'_

_'And what’d he do?'_

_'He apologized, and now he leaves the room if I start to change in front of him.'_

_'And what else happened?'_

_'Well, I’d catch him staring at me sometimes',_ Sora muttered with a shy look to the side.

Roxas continued to smile. (It was convincing enough.)

“So,” Sora sighed, looking at him with a new set of eyes. Like Roxas was everything, and because of that, he felt so relieved that it was Roxas who he could tell all of this to. “What do you think I should I do?”

_What **should** you do, Sora? _

Roxas looked at him, smile slackening.

“Maybe you should pretend to be with me. Get him all jealous.”

Is what he wanted to say.

Sora blinked at him, waiting for an answer and Roxas shrugged, trying to mask the rising itch in his arms. His hands were fists in his pockets. “So you want my advice?"

"C'mon, I know you got a good idea?"

Roxas huffed a laugh, "Okay. Let's see...well, be the good flirt I know you could be. Just ask him out.”

"That's it?" Sora said, disappointed. “Really?”

“I'm telling you do to something about it.”

Sora regarded at him for a moment. “How do you know I’ll even be a good flirt?”

“I don’t.” Roxas said. “Here’s to hoping you don’t fuck up.”

“Hey!”

Roxas let out a breathy laugh and leaned off the railing, bending down to pick up his bag. _Here’s to hoping you do._

“So, if that’s it, I’m glad that I was of no help then—”

Sora almost tackled him, arms tight around his neck and warm cheek pressed against his own as the brunette hugged him with all he had. Roxas stood there, eyes wide and arms at his sides, frozen. That was for a moment, and then Sora breathed him in, humming before whispering a thank you, right at his ear. Roxas’ arms dropped limply, bookbag back on the ground with a thud.

Holy _shit._

“I know I’m a sap, or whatever, but,” Sora breathed against his ear. Roxas felt his smile on his cheek growing wider, “You’re the best, Roxas! Even though you’re mean most of the time and I don’t get you…you’re the best. Thank you.”

Roxas continued to stand here and Sora, still somehow, found a way to hug him tighter. And that feeling, the one from earlier that to Roxas, wasn’t something he was used to at all, came back again. He found himself not caring for a split moment, about his own reservations, about his pride, about his double, triple stupid thinking—he just let his heart do the talking.

And it hurt. A lot.

With one swift movement, Roxas raised his arms and hugged Sora around his waist, just as tight.

“You’re welcome.”

//

“What the fuck happened to you?”

Roxas narrowed his eyes at Axel who watched him through a slip of their dorm door.

“I know Xion’s in there, fucking let me in already.”

“Holy shit.” Xion sat up straight as he stormed inside, throwing his bookbag hard at his bed. “Uh, we can explain?”

“Xion.” Axel made a signal for cut throat before mouthing ' _He already knows’_. She stared at him alarmingly and he sent her a sympathetic look, promising to explain later. “Roxas, what happened?”

Roxas fisted his hair for moment, wishing he could be alone, wishing that Axel wasn’t only in his jeans right now and Xion wasn’t trying to cover herself with a bedsheet to save her life—but here he was, having put himself in this exact situation with no one to blame but himself.

“I think I fucked up.” He finally said after a moment.

Axel and Xion exchanged looks.

“Well,” Xion said, “Can we make like commercial and let me get changed real quick?”

Roxas turned around as Axel took a step in front of him. His emerald eyes searched him and Roxas didn’t even try to hide anything. He looked scorched, dreary and he gave Axel an unimpressed brow raise

“I still don’t understand why’d you guys hide this from me.”

Axel exhaled deeply at that. “I hate when you try to change the subject.”

“Let it work and do its thing.”

“How, when you just come storming in here like—”

“Done.” Xion piped. “Okay, explain—”

“I think I seriously like this guy.” Roxas’ voice broke. He didn’t even look mad that it did, and Axel and Xion widened their eyes at him, with Xion scrambling off the bed and Axel settling a hand on his shoulder. Roxas took a deep breath, clenching his jaw.

Why’d he feel like he’d been dying to say that since forever? This fucking sucked.

“I know.” Axel said. “We had this convo before except you denied it the whole time. Remember that?”

“I hate when you guys keep me out the loop.” Xion was beside the two of them, concerned eyes on Roxas. “Are you talking about Sora?” Roxas shot an intense look at her and she stared back evenly. “Okay. Sora, it is.”

“The fact that you’re unsurprised.” Axel said.

“Well, who else could it be? No one gets that close to Roxas that fast, not if he stops it.”

Roxas’ eyes twitched and bit his cheek hard. Even his best friends knew him well enough.

“Hey, man. So, what happened?”

“It’s so fucking stupid. I really don’t know.”

Xion casted a dubious look to Axel. “Something must’ve happened, or you wouldn’t be in batshit mode right now. And I’m pretty sure you broke some of your paint brushes with how hard you just threw your bag.”

Roxas shook his head, not wanting to say it out loud. It was like, if he denied it, by not speaking it into existence, maybe all this would go away. Maybe these stupid feelings would disappear, like they had been, right up until Sora literally bumped into his life _again_. That one stupid meeting should’ve been just that, just like he’d told himself night after night, staring up at ceiling, lost in daydreams about a girl with a dimpled smile. About, actually, a _guy_ not knowing the difference between paint colors, yet painting was his major— a guy that let himself get teased so easily, pouting at every jab. An idiot, staring at him with ketchup on his lip, like Roxas was the dumb one. A just, total moron who did things like bumping their shoulders and taking time to meet his friends, hugging him tight and smelling like fucking vanilla—

_Roxas isn’t so bad. I like him._

_Even if I don’t get you…thank you_.

Roxas looked at both Axel and Xion with bated breath.

Then he let eyes drop, and for some moments, his mind became fuzz. Just static. Nothing getting in, nothing coming out. He felt numb. And then reality hit him again, hard, and it was cold, almost windy. He realigned his focus, staring down at his feet. They were moving.

Roxas had ran out of his room.

//

His heart was pounding and his stomach felt like it was in knots.

Sora bit his lip as he was looking into his mirror, nervous eyed and twitchy fingered. _Be the good flirt I know you could be._ Okay, but how? Sora tilted his head, giving his face much more scrutiny than usual. Should he put on very light makeup? Like mascara, or even some lip balm? Some blush? Sora shook his head, realizing how absurd the suggestion was. As far as Riku knew, Sora was just a guy who painted his nails and that was it. Now he wore makeup too? Sora was gnawing his bottom lip at this point, anxiety chipping at him like nothing else. He’d already came out to someone today, and while that went pretty well, it had exhausted him.

Maybe he shouldn’t even be nervous. Sora dropped his eyes from his reflection and landed them to his lap. Maybe this wasn’t even a date. Maybe it was just…

_I think it’s pretty obvious what your roommate meant, Sora._

Sora rolled his eyes, amused. “Ha, what does he know?” He crossed his arms. “Wait, does Roxas have a girlfriend?" 

What was he doing even asking? 

Sora shook his head and then looked at the clock at his night table. It was five minutes to seven and Riku would be here any moment. He inhaled, determined to stop letting his anxiety get the better of him. This also wouldn’t be happening if his soulmate was here (he’d like to call her that) and give him encouraging words, but Sora knew Kairi was heavily into memorizing her script right now. Calling her before _she_ called him in a time like this…Sora gave up a long time ago the fight against Kairi and her love for method acting…

Keys jingling, right in front of the door.

Sora immediately shot up, wide eyed as he looked down at himself. Riku was here, okay, okay—keep it cool. Sweater with no wrinkles? Check. His favorite jeans that hugged him the right way, check—Sora absently heard the door clicking open as he frantically fixed his necklace, seeing the crown reversed—

Riku came in, wincing as he lugged in two heavy sport looking bags and Sora stared for a moment until those blue-green eyes met his in surprise.

“Sora.”

“Let me help!” The brunette walked up to him, quickly taking a bag off his shoulder. Riku’s shoulders immediately fell in relief at the less strain and Sora threw a smile before walking over to Riku’s side of the room where all his equipment was, carefully setting the bag down. “Long day today, huh?”

“I don’t even want to talk about it.” Riku huffed.

“That bad?”

Riku shook his head, letting a smile lift. “Doesn’t matter now. You made instantly better.”

Sora blinked and purposefully tried to ignore the imaginary hot steam coming out of his ears. “Oh? By—um, doing what?”

Riku did hear him but didn’t say anything as he set his other bag down by his desk chair, and when he did, Sora looked off the side, trying to not feel suddenly awkward at how quickly the silence came up. His eyes were staring hard into his Meow Wow plushie as he heard Riku messing with some papers on his desk for a moment.

“Hey.”

Sora perked up and Riku wasn’t looking at him, but rather straight at a paper in his hand.

“Yeah?”

“Come here for a sec. I want to show you something.”

Oh. Sora swallowed but didn’t hesitate, walking over with false ease. “What’s up—”

He didn’t expect for Riku to drop the paper in his hand, uncovering a small gift-wrapped box in pastel colors. And since he didn’t expect it, his face immediately grew crimson by the millisecond, shooting surprised eyes back and forth at the gift and then at Riku’s calm face.

“I never gave you a house-warming gift. My bad.” Riku offered it up and Sora gingerly took in his hands. “I know you transferred here, so it’s kind of messed up I didn’t do something properly to…I don’t know…”

“Welcome me?”

“Yeah.” Riku said. “That was…sort of cheesy on how I called you over, I know, but—”

“No, you caught me by surprise. Was that your plan?”

Riku chuckled, looking off sheepishly. “Maybe. Glad it worked.”

Sora let out a half chuckle of his own, wistful eyes staring down at his present. He realized for a moment that Riku was waiting for him to open it, and when he looked up, Riku was still looking away, almost embarrassed at what he was already imagining Sora’s reaction to be, at whatever that it was inside…Still, Sora bit the inside of his cheek, feeling something uncomfortable beginning to shift in his stomach. He felt a burning need to ask.

“Was…was this why you wanted to meet here?”

Riku looked at him, mild surprise. “Uh, yeah. Did you have something to do?”

Sora quickly shook his head, “No, I was just askin’...”

It was a gift from Riku, right? So why'd his heart feel heavy...?

//

He was back at the bicycle racks behind Twilight Hall.

It was dusk already and seeing as it was the first week of October, by seven the moon wasn’t shy of showing up. Roxas sat on the concrete, knees up and elbows resting on them. He looked tired, his fingers itching for a cigarette. He loathed feeling like this, because he knew beyond this sense of emotional exhaustion, it really was all helplessness that he felt deep down. And there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing that would soothe a wound no one put there but life itself.

And now Roxas had to deal with it.

He tried going blank again, letting his mind turn to fuzz—to shut away his feelings, the world, everyone. But a voice popped in his mind, shaking him out of it.

_You’re lonely. And you like him._

And despite Axel, despite Xion—who very much had each other, Roxas couldn’t ignore that voice no matter how much he wanted to. The voice sounded much like his, and it sounded like an admission. So no, ignoring it was never an option.

Anyone seeing him right now would think he was going through a crisis, and hell, maybe he was. All his life he thought he was straight, but then here comes a guy from who knows where, confusing the living hell out of him. Made him act meaner, more at a loss, more, just weird—it fell too impossible, all of it. Even seeing Sora and feeling his own heart thud was something he still couldn’t quite connect. Was this happening? Was this really a thing?

Like:

Reaching his dorm after a long day and being away from the brunette was starting to get uncomfortable. Like he wanted to see him. Hell, follow him back to his dorm. Maybe invite him along when Axel wanted to head to the city, which was always. When Roxas had found himself walking around on campus, not much to do, he’d look around and try to catch a familiar head of brown spikes running somewhere.

And again, that disconnect existed. He didn’t connect what he was doing, how he was acting—as a sign of…liking Sora. It’d instead would always be: ‘Where is this guy?’, ‘Wonder what he’s up to?’, ‘Maybe I’ll see him today, even though it’s Saturday.’.

And these thoughts...they were there all the time. 

These days Roxas just felt too raw. Like something different had hit him and branded him, and now he was asking: Well, what do I with it?

By the time dusk settled to night, and he got some missed calls from Axel and Xion, Roxas looked up at the trees framing the fall night sky and decided.

He had to take his own advice. He had to something do about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey roxas….that was axel's advice.....anyway ahem and so.....the angst begins. :)) comment please? just a crumb  
> 


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